Believe to Achieve: Lily’s Story

“If you believe, you can achieve anything you want, and everything happens for a reason.” 

These are the wise and thoughtful words of one of our year 8 students, Lily*. At just 12-years-old, she has already experienced some huge setbacks. While she has a close relationship with her parents, her home life has been incredibly complicated, and this has had a direct impact on her school experience. 

Due to problems at home, Lily felt stigmatised, and chose to distance herself from peers at her school. She felt she could not talk about what was happening in her life for fear of judgement. The story was the same at home, where she also had no one to turn to, she says: “I could not bring it up with close relatives as it would upset them”. 

Lily found herself floundering.  

Lily’s attitude at school completely changed as a result of the issues she was facing, which caused her to get into fights and receive negative behaviour points. These problems had escalated to the point that her parents were even discussing homeschooling Lily with her school. 

When School Of Hard Knocks (SOHK) was introduced as an alternative solution to Lily’s rising challenges at school, things very quickly started to improve. 

On joining the programme SOHK staff saw a rapid change in Lily, particularly in the practical rugby sessions. She was always the first to give new experiences on the field a go, and her energy and enthusiasm became a beacon to others in the programme who were much less confident. Our staff often rely on Lily to demonstrate drills with them, and she is always willing to act as a coach in her own way to those who are less confident. 

“SOHK has taught me how to calm myself now,” says Lily. “I know how to control my emotions better. I talk to more people than I used to, I feel a lot more confident and I can do more than I used to. I can talk to people when I need to.” 

SOHK staff have observed some impressive changes in how Lily interacts with her peers. Not only does she work well with her fellow year 8 peers, but she has also made friends with SOHK girls in older years, encouraging others to take part, and she socialises at lunch time with a large group of new friends, some of whom are her fellow SOHK participants. 

With SOHK’s guardrails and 3C psychology practices in place, Lily has found an environment in which she can thrive and feel a much-needed sense of belonging. A renewed self-belief has helped her to build relationships more confidently and engage in new activities outside of SOHK. 

She adds: “I now do more sport - I used to play rugby for a local team before the issues at home but after that it stopped. Because of SOHK I have been looking for local teams to join again.” 

While her early negative experiences will have a lasting impact, she has been able to develop strong coping skills and a resilience that will serve her well into the future.  

“SOHK has made me feel like I can come into school more often,” says Lily. “I keep my head down more and don’t mess around as much, I have also gone up a set after recent tests. I feel I can do better still, and believe I can achieve the future I want.” 

Week after week, the SOHK team shows up for students like Lily who are facing hardship and disadvantage. It creates a reliable, stable environment where young people can safely explore their emotions and take on new challenges. 

“Before, I didn’t feel able to talk about my problems, but SOHK staff have taught me that I can,” says Lily. “If I wasn’t in SOHK I think I would have been kicked out of school. Before the programme, I had 50 negative points and since starting SOHK last term, I’ve had less than a handful.” 

SOHK staff say: “Since joining last term, Lily has really come out of her shell. Despite her difficult circumstances she has found confidence and a sense of belonging along with strong coping skills that will benefit her today and tomorrow. We are confident that she will continue to grow and flourish on the programme.” 

This incredible progress by Lily only goes to show what can be achieved when young people are provided with a safe space, trust and respect.    

*Name and image have been changed to protect the identity of our beneficiary.